Why must you be so damn tasty. I’m trying so hard, SO HARD to lose about 15 pounds (12 now, I thank you) and for some reason, I sit here thinking only of you. I could be doing something productive with my time, like thinking of celery, but no. No. You’re a JERK, Burger. Not to mention I do sometimes get you from my local fast food establishment, and people don’t understand the concept of NO CHEESE!! You’re delicious the way you are without that filth upon you. Do not degrade yourself like that. You’re better than that. I love you. I love you so much, and I would probably kick a toddler to obtain one of you right now. BUT I SHALL PERSEVERE. I will not have you, you delicious stack of bun, extra special sauce, ground beef, or turkey, with some cucumbers and iceberg lettuce and one perfectly huge slice of tomato. Fuck.
Hungrily Yours,
Me
